Thursday, December 12, 2013

Never Thought I Could Dislike Jillian Michaels so Much

The day had started innocently enough, until Jillian Michaels kicked my butt and made fun of me.  For me, a day off from running usually means doing random exercise stuff whenever I feel and however long I feel like. I can talk myself into doing something such as a couple sets of push-ups in between bites of dessert or a few crunches or planks while watching Spongebob Squarepants something intelligent on television. But this day was going to be different.


Hello Jillian, of course I'll go on an adventure with you.
I pulled the Jillian Michaels Fitness Adventure XBOX 360 game out from the bottom of the game stack. I dusted it off, put the disk in the system, setup the kinect sensor, and rearranged the furniture around to make sure I had plenty of space to get sexy. The game started and Jillian was nice and polite and I told her my name, height, weight, age. You know, the normal conversation that I have with all strangers I first meet. She than asked if I would like to learn the exercises or go straight to an adventure. Of course, being a man and trying to show off a little I told her that I didn't need to be told how to do the exercises. The next question Jillian asked was whether or not I would like to warmup or to start the circuit right away. I knew she would need the warmup so I went ahead and did it for her sake. After the warmup Jillian and I started our adventure. The adventure entails a lot of running (in place) through ruins and jungles, than doing exercises to get past obstacles.

Watch out Cobra Kai, I'm learning karate
Everything was going well until I needed to do some side lunges to get past some spikes that were blocking our way. I only had to do a total of 10 but Jillian kept telling me I was doing them wrong. I politely replied that I am doing them exactly like she is. After I did 20 she only gave me credit for 5. By now her patience with me was growing thin and she was getting more and more vocal about how I am not doing them right and how I needed to hurry up. I started arguing back with her that I didn't know what she wanted me to do. After I did a total of 50ish lunges and more yelling at each other, I decided I did enough lunges and wanted to skip the exercise. I started waving my arms around to tell the kinect sensor to quit or skip the exercise but the game was not going to let me. I had to continue with the exercise no matter what. Eventually after what felt like an eternity I was able to pass the obstacle and we continued on until the end of that portion of the circuit workout. I apologized to her for my behavior and we agreed to be nicer to each other. I told Jillian I was ready for the next portion of the circuit workout. We started and everything was fine and I was running and doing the exercises to pass the obstacles until I needed to do 10 walking pushups. Great! I can really show off my awesomeness with an exercise I know. I got down and did them with perfect form and then looked up and saw 0 completed. I figured she liked watching my excellent pushup form and perhaps wanted to see me do them again. How could you blame her for wanting to witness perfection. I did them again and looked up and saw 0 completed again. "What the heck Jillian? I thought we were going to be nice to each other". I tried doing a couple differently, still nothing. Did a couple more, again nothing. Jillian than starts getting louder about how I need to hurry up. I promptly started telling her how she must be blind and I was doing the exercises right. Of course our arguing started escalating and I told her how her game is stupid, her adventures are stupid, and her exercises are stupid. After I couldn't do another pushup I got up and was about to turn the system off when I realized the kinect sensor looked a little high to "see" anything low such as pushups or lunges. After I adjusted the kinect sensor everything was fine again. I was able to finish that portion of the workout circuit but decided that I had enough adventure for the day. I was drenched in sweat, and my legs and arms were exhausted from all the "extra" working out so I headed to the shower feeling emotionally and physically abused.

So yea, I am not happy with Jillian and I'm sure she isn't happy with me. I hope the next adventure we can act more civilized and actually get along with each other.

Has anyone else played a "fitness" video game?

10 comments:

  1. ummm...so 1) spongebob rocks ;) hahaha..i've never played but if i were u i think i woulda gone all crazy runnerchick on that jillian, "i'm doing there BETTER than u, so give me credit!!" :P

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    1. haha.. Yea, I find myself watching kids shows an embarrassing amount of time. Yea, the game was frustrating but I think I have the sensor figured out now.

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  2. Ok...can not say that I have ever given an exercise video game a try...well, short of a zombie run phone app that I couldn't get into. I am a huge Jillian fan though so if I ever get a new console, I may give it a try. Everything seems to kick my butt so, I don't see this game being any exception.

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    1. I actually have that zombie run app also but I can't use it during the dark. It freaks me out. haha.

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  3. Your post had me laughing out loud! I haven't tried any of these fitness games with the Kinect but I did have my ass handed to my by a 5 year old with the boxing game. Who knew you could work up such a sweat with a video game.

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    1. Yea, I like how active some of the games are for the WII and Xbox Kinect. It helps me rationalize my time playing.

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  4. Ha, this was great! I don't have a specific Kinect fitness game, but the "Wipeout" game kicked my butt the one time I tried it...I'll have to break it out after my foot heals. I'm looking forward to watching Jillian kick other people's butt on The Biggest Loser tonight, while I most likely eat holiday treats :)

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    1. Yea, I think it is more fun watching her yell at other people than when she is yelling at you. haha.

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  5. bah ha ha ha ha aha ha ha!!!!!!!!!! Hysterical, however, I am not scared of Jillian too. I cannot believe you want to go round 2 with this crazy scary woman!!! I would be petrified for my life. ;)

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    1. I am used to watching her yell at other people on television but it is different when she is yelling at you. I think I will try to play it a couple times a month just to change things up a little.

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